It reads as if you either don’t known English (or Grammar) or that you were in too much of a hurry to post this. one big long block of words is too hard to read. Much obliged.animal99Report 2013-02-18 14:32:31After all, your later stories are REALLY good to read.animal99Report 2013-02-18 14:31:39You really should re-post this after you do some proof-reading and break up the story into paragraphs. It COULD get higher reviews if you do as I suggest since you won’t chase people away from reading poorly written story all due to format and not SO MUCH poor content.anonymous readerReport 2013-02-07 11:09:52opened the story to read, but didn’t even try to read it. break it into paragraphs and repost as an edit, you’ll get more readersanonymous readerReport 2013-01-30 17:05:09I belive that was the looonnngggeeesssttt sences iv’e ever read.«12»
